The WEIGHT of grief is not talked about much. The thoughts, feelings, emotions are known and expected. Some moments you may be fine, then just overcome with grief. It is like waves… However the weight of grief can be overwhelming. Getting out of bed. Getting up from a chair to get a drink. Going to lift something off the floor and ending up just sitting on the floor beside it wondering why you cannot get up.
Do not underestimate the weight of grief. It will ease in time, your time, however long you need.
“Rising Cairn” a 4,000 lb stone sculpture is the work of artist Celeste Roberge. Roberge says that she didn’t necessarily intend to depict anguish in the piece but doesn’t mind the alternative reading of her work. “I imagine her in the process of rising up from her crouching position…when she is ready,” she explains. “I am not disturbed by individual interpretations of the sculpture because I think it is really wonderful for people to connect with works of art in whatever way is meaningful to them.”
For some it may be white feathers that turn up in strange places. For others it is a link to the moon. For me; I love the moon shining bright in the sky, it is usually a calm peaceful night when you can see the moon. This is part of the attraction for me.
I am writing about the loss of someone close, someone who is still a part of our lives; they are just not in this world anymore. I know some people who treasure each white feather they see, when it turns up unexpected, and just at the right time when they needed some comfort, and a reminder of their Angel in Heaven. It is a very special, personal, spiritual experience. They think of a little baby that has sent down one of their Angel wings feathers, to remind them that they are with them in Spirit.
My connection is the moon. I know my baby is not there. My Angel baby has wings in Heaven. The moon however has such a special connection since my 1st child went to Heaven. The link is that I cannot SEE Heaven from here. I feel Heaven, have supernatural experiences, and Believe in Jesus; But it is the connection with the moon shining down that connects my thoughts to my little Baby, whom I talk to, love and miss everyday. I talk to my children here about their Angel in Heaven.
I have previously worked many nightshifts in a dangerous place; But if I passed a window and realised for the 1st time that night the moon was shining; I stopped no matter what was happening, which could have been fights by men addicted to many substances and alcohol. I collected my thoughts, and said a Prayer to Heaven with my little Baby while staring at the moon. I was never once interrupted no matter what was going on around me. A supernatural moment Heaven didn’t allow to be interrupted between a daddy and his Baby Angel.
I have had some nights where I just need to go out walking in the moonlight to clear my head. I will at some point just stop, and using mindfulness, stare at the moon, what shape it is, what colours there is, the clouds drifting slowly past making their own story. In reality, I’m not interested in the moon at this time. It is my soul connecting to Heaven, and I just need to keep a clear mind and let it connect. A very spiritual experience. I never take this for granted and it is very grounding. I am just A loving daddy kissing my Angel in Heaven. X
Sometimes I would love to know what my Baby would have become? Married? Loved to do? Loved to watch? Loved motorcycles like me? Loved reading like me? Been more like Mummy? So many questions with no answers, but then my baby went to Heaven so no pain in this world. I also do have this very special, supernatural connection which is so very precious and personal to me. I use the moon to settle my mind, but my connection is not the moon, or white feathers.
I know some of you do not believe in Heaven, which is your choice, but I do, and that is the only reason I include my spiritual views as it is intertwined in my DNA, especially with my 1st Baby. I am very interested in everyones viewpoint. I am non-judgemental by nature and by profession. I would like you to comment with your connection to someone you have lost that was and still is very much connected to you. Do you do anything at Christmas to remember them? I will have a family moment to think about our Angel at this special time. Our children here have a special connection which I love and cherish.
This blog was never started to be my view only; I am a private introvert. I feel my words may help someone, even 1 person, and that is the only reason I write here. If anyone has a blog they would like me to read regarding their Angel Baby I would love to read it so comment with a link to it. I will also say though if anyone comments anything rude or nasty, I will respond, as this is a very personal experience for everyone concerned. I respect everyones views. Please do post your thoughts below here.